Doula and midwifery assistant work is life affirming, and flexible, but challenging. Life is busy enough with regular family stuff, house to maintain, and a business to promote-- but the added challenge of being "on call" makes things even more complicated. Births can happen (generally) happen anywhere from 38-42 weeks in a pregnancy-- a whole month on my calendar blocked off for an expecting family. That's why most doulas only take four births a month or less, making sure to space them out and avoid overlap. So far, I haven't missed a birth!
If you are a prospective doula, or just wondering why a doula might charge a non-refundable retainer fee, here's a short list of challenges you may not have considered when choosing an "on call" career.
Of course if a birth comes up, you have to reschedule other appointments with clients. But you also have to reschedule doctor's appointments, meetings, classes, interviews, plumbers, dates, and things like DMV appointments that you made a month ago.
The LEASH! I can never ever EVER go anywhere without my phone and charger, go anywhere where there isn't signal, or anywhere that isn't within an hour(ish) driving distance from my client.
Always having transportation. If my car needs a fix, I can't just go to the shop and wait a few hours for a repair, I have to arrange for alternate transportation ALWAYS, and alternate transportation for my partner to pick up the kiddo.
I always need my car to have at least a half tank of gas in my car. That may mean at the end of a long day when I just want to pour myself into bed and deal with everything in the morning, actually stopping and making sure the car is ready to go in the middle of the night, just in case.
Missed holidays, family gatherings, weddings, trainings, potential vacations, and even coffee with very old friends visiting from other countries.
Taking my kid out to do anything without a backup person and a backup plan ready to go. This is extra challenging when you have a little guy and have to juggle the car seat back and forth.
Always carrying your doula bag with you, in addition to your purse or laptop or diaper bag. Cleaning clothes and restocking energy bars is a must.
Can I get my hair cut and colored? Not really. I don't want to be halfway through and have to bail when I get the call. Though, I do quick trims myself at home.
Swimming at the beach? Nope. Too far, and too complicated to wash, dry, walk back to the car, and THEN drive. Too much time, and I wouldn't want to leave my partner in the dust to handle it alone.
Bailing in the middle of movies, sex, tabletop RPGs, recitals, and family dinners.
Irritated partners who are constantly having to adjust their schedule to support you, and juggle things at home to run out and switch cars with you or bring you your doula bag you forgot.
Of course, every good doula has a backup or two, and isn't afraid to use them when they're really needed. But we always try our best to meet our clients as promised since we have built that trusting relationship together. Some of these might also be more of a concern for me since I have a wide service area (because I live in a rural area) so traveling anywhere is a long trip anyways.
So is this on-call lifestyle worth it? That's for you and your family to decide. It's definitely an adjustment, but if you can get it figured out, you can have one of the most life-affirming careers out there.
